Snowdrops for Ike

     i remember bumping into her here and there, as in seeing a familiar face that has no name to it in my mind. sometimes on the street, sometimes somewhere else, for example, a Chinese Society meeting in my first year, and there she was. and i still didn’t know her name. the next time i saw her again, was in the choir practices in Armstrong building every Thursday. and from then on, we talked. Carina is a really nice person. she talks about anything, about studies, how busy she could get, about getting into medical school, about being a doctor =). i’ve never known any other person who wants to do medicine so much. i am so amazed with the courage that she’s shown in trying to make her path in this career. honestly, i don’t think i can be that strong, i would have given up long ago. we exchanged phone numbers, but we only got to meet every week for a short while during choir practices. that’s where our friendship developed. it was gradual, but it is there.

     i remember how willing she was to accompany me to the choir audition for the performance in The Sage. that’s really when we spent our quality time together, singing out-of-tune in her flat. ‘Born in a stable so bareeeee….bornnn so longgg ago…’ remember, Carina? she chose to sing Nativity Carol and i picked Cradle Song, two of the songs we sang in the Christmas choir in St. Nicholas Church during Christmas 2004. i really had a lot of fun, singing and giggling with her. the 2nd year term was just starting, and i was already thinking of engaging in another choir performance. it was scary at first, as i was unsure if i was ever good enough to get through the audition. however, Carina was there, stood by me and accompanied me all the way. i honestly don’t think i could have made it without your support =)

     Listening to the recordings of the Christmas carols we sang in the church, it makes me kind of teary. Carina, you had also offered to attend the concert in The Sage when nobody else wanted to, so that i’d know someone from the audience at least. and that was so sweet of you. we had a nice meal at Cafe Nero nearby your place just before the concert started. i remember it was drizzling as well. there are some things u just can’t forget…

‘far awayyyy…silent he layyy..born todayyy..your homage payyyy…’

     When your Christmas exams were over last year, we went to the cinema to watch Just Like Heaven, starring Reese Witherspoon, as a doctor who was too busy in the hospital to be bothered with her personal life. Reese ended up in a coma and with her body in that state, her spirit saw what she’s missed out in her life. When we get to be doctors, Carina, i hope things will turn out just fine for us =) and YOU will be a doctor.

     Our next outing was the Chinese New Year walk around China Town. and that’s when u gave Carrie to me.

‘Dear Iris, I saw this little dog on a shelf - abandoned and sad. I picked him up and immediately thought of you. So there, I rescued him and am passing him to you. Pls look after him and give him warmth. He needs your love and will thank you one day….. thank you for being my friend! -Carina ‘

     Carrie is doing great, and i named him after you. (well, at first i thought the dog was a girl…so that explains the name.. =P not until i realised it was actually the character Tramp from the Lady & The Tramp cartoon.)

     Carina encouraged me to participate in the Latin & Ballrooom society too, since she had joined in her first year. she told me about the positive experience she gained from it, and how much she had learnt. i was full of doubt of myself, but i did in the end, and i’m so glad now that i have done it. and again, Carina, u were there, pushing me along, with those videos of your dancing that u sent. =P

     and you came to the International Grand Festival to watch me dance even though u had a really close deadline. and oh, Malaysian Night in the Bassment of Student Union..u came too despite ur work. i’ve just realised how many times u’ve been there, and that i haven’t done as much for you.

     i can just pray that you’ll get into medicine someday. that this exams will give you the results u need..becos you deserve all that, cos you’re such a dear, sweet angel that has crossed my path today. and that one day, we’ll be doctors taking over each other’s shifts yea..? or should i say, it doesn’t hurt to be optimistic for once. and who knows, we may not even have to cry after all. =)

     Let me tell you about Alison Chung. She’s got eyes, nose, ears, limbs..except a mature lung. Still swimming in her mommie’s tummy, aged at about 34 weeks of gestation. My niece. First ever grandchild of my family. My father’s pride for having more girls in the family.

     The problem is, her name. You see, Alison is the name i chose for myself when I was 14. Just that not a lot of people knew about it. When my mom told me today that my brother’s choosing that name for his daughter, I was really shocked. And not well recovered. I don’t know what to feel. To be proud or not. If my brother has chosen that name because of me, then I’d feel really happy for having my niece being named after me. (I know my brother loves me..but he doesn’t have to do this……) But if not, I feel my identity is running away from me. Although of course, it’s not as worse as having another Iris Chung. I’m surprised for feeling like this. Could this be something like sibling’s jealousy? Something that I never get to have, since i’m the youngest, and my grown-up siblings need not fight for any attention from my parents.

     So when I asked my mom, what’s her chinese name gonna be, she answered, ‘Why, Ai Li San, of course!’. Oh god, that is soooo like my own Chinese name. I tried to change her mind. ‘What if she turns out to be like me?’, I argued. ‘Be like you also good what….’, she said. Hm..i don’t know what she meant by that. But I certainly don’t hope my niece will grow up to be like me. If anything, i’m a lazy aunt. (And if she turns out to be lazy, it’s because of her daddy..not me! ;P) The only similar trait that I hope she’ll have, is the love for animals. I hope she likes dogs. I really wish so. And please don’t be allergic to animal fur, I beg u. If not, my baby Ike has to move out

     So there. Allen & Ally, with their first child, Alison. (I wonder what’s the next one’s gonna be called. Aaron? haha) Can’t wait for Alison to see the world soon. And I know i’ll love you, Alison. Cos you’ll be just like me.

Iris Alison Chung